Life is a journey….

Posted by on Dec 2, 2018 in All Posts, Hanukkah, Hanukkah, Journey thru Garden | 3 comments

Yes, that’s what I always tell people when they ask me ‘how do I do this’ or ‘how do I do that’ when referring to first coming into an understanding of the biblical roots of their faith (or anything else).

“It’s a journey…..take time to B.R.E.A.T.H.E.”

And it’s a phrase that I I believe in. But I have realized that everything is a journey – absolutely everything. Every step we take, every breath we draw – it is all about the journey. We are here for a purpose, even when that purpose continuously eludes us.

Today is one of those days. It is one of those days when I have to take a step back, and draw in deeply as a healing balm, the words I share with others.

It’s a journey…take time to breathe.

The journey that I am on, that you are on, no matter the circumstances or situation, is one that you are qualified to fulfill. Even if you don’t think you can go one step further. But…you can. Just breathe. Deep, belly filling, lung expanding breaths. In….Out….In…..Out. Yes, you, can. Just breathe!

The journey for me is different than the journey for you – but in the end – they are all the same. That journey leads us to the person we are on our way to becoming. And it takes a life-time until we are who we are. That journey makes us who we are made to be. And we are living examples to all those around us. So just keep going forward.

As I reflect on this sometimes arduous journey, there are many insanely beautiful and serene moments; and then there are horrifying and devastating  chunks of time worth burying somewhere. But all of them….belong to me. And as my mind skips across the waves of memories, banging against the shore of reality, another unique opportunity arises. And I breathe deeply.

Tonight is the first night of the Feast of Dedication, the Feast of Hanukah. Pondering the moment of whether to light that first candle in the emptiness of my home only lasts a few seconds of indecisiveness. The answer is an overwhelming YES! And so it begins.

Yeshua/Jesus made it a point to visit the temple during this 8 day festival of rededication (John 10:22–39). Was he contemplating what was to come? Was he thinking of the cross he was to bear? Was he rededicating his life to his God? Possibly all of that and more. Can I do less? I think not.

So tonight, as I light that first candle in the emptiness of my abode and ponder on all that this journey has entailed, I, too, will rededicate my life to my God, my King, the Holy One of Israel. I will strive to keep walking forward and doing all that I know how to do to because I love Him. This rededication is always a new beginning … a turning over … a promise of things to come. The meaning of this period of time when my Messiah was conceived (feast of LIGHTS) now hits home….more than ever before.

May this time be a wondrous time for you as well. May the LIGHT of the world brighten and lighten your journey so that the path you choose is the one that brings you ever closer to his embrace.

Blessings and Shalom!

and Happy Hanukah!

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Purpose …. where did you go?

Posted by on Oct 18, 2018 in All Posts, Journey thru Garden, Pams Ponderings | 0 comments

Purpose …. where did you go?

Seems like that’s the clarion call in the wind…or maybe it’s just the wind in my own backyard. No, it truly is in the wind.  From California to New York those seven little letters are running rampant through the streets and sneaking into unlatched back doors. Doesn’t matter if you’re ten or ten times ten … it can wreak havoc on the most unsuspecting soul!

During the day one can usually quite the siren call, calm the frenzied senses, and convince one’s humble self that ‘I’m ok’… after all, you have chores to do, kids to feed, house to clean and the list goes on. But when that golden yellowish ball sinks beneath the horizon and the lights go out …. doubts inevitably begin to creep in.

Big doubts, little doubts – doubts that you can easily give an imaginary slap across the room and dismiss … but then there are those really BIG doubts, the ones that just keep shouting you down and circling your aching head. As your body cries out for just one night of restful, uninterrupted, oh so needed eight hours, your racing thoughts just won’t shut down.

The myriad of negative adjectives swirl around in your consciousness and you squeeze your eyes tight so that the fountains of the deep don’t leak out and become a torrential waterfall.  All you want is one good night’s sleep! Is that too much to hope for?

And all of those nasty little fiery darts of accusations keep coming and coming and coming……and you silently scream … ENOUGH! Eyes wide open, tears flowing and fists clenched.


You rally around your self and summon the judge of your consciousness, and you begin to ‘intelligently’ examine all those firey darts one by one.  A few can be dismissed as simply parts of old baggage that you thought you had buried deep …. really deep. Apparently, not that deep. A few seem to burn right into your flesh and you can sense the hopelessness of trying to extinguish them by yourself.  SOS…..and you drift off into a fitful night again.

Then a sliver of an answer sneaks into your feed….one thumbs up for staying on FB one week longer. Two friends, who have no idea what is plaguing you, post something that nails it! From the other side of the country they repost something that was a life-changer for them…and now for you. A reminder that you are not alone and these doubts are a part of the ‘be-coming human’ and into the image of the Holy One life-journey.

One post brought to memory of a young man name David….not the King that we choose to remember, but the young man that had been appointed as the future king of Israel by the great prophet Samuel (1 Samuel 16:1-13) but who was running for his life after being faithful to King Saul who now wanted to murder him. And along with him in his desperate attempt to allude the King was a rag-tag group of about 400 men who were also in pretty much the same mental condition. Pretty much far from the ‘man after God’s own heart’ type of role model, I’d venture to say.

Actually, as I ‘see’ David and his men in that dark and creepy cave I can definitely relate to them. Cold, sick, tired and defeated, it’s easy to imagine crying out with him and muttering nothing good under my breath. Bet none of those spear-carrying men had a good night’s sleep either.

So what is the point of this post you ask? Just go crawl into your bed and pull the covers up over your head and cry yourself to sleep? Well, can’t say that I haven’t done that, but the post went on to share that in one of the Psalms that David wrote, specifically Psalm 57, he assesses his circumstances and makes a choice. Read that again as, I have assessed my circumstances and made a choice!

As David did not deny the distress he was in or the dire darkness of his situation, he refused to stay in that pity party! As we all know too well, when we take that first step down that spiraling staircase, it is sometimes very difficult to free oneself from the murkiness of despair. But our circumstances are not who we are, they do not define us! They will, of course, help mold our lives, influence our thinking and color our world, however, again, those circumstances do not define us! We have the ability to remind our soul, our true self, who we really are – and that is, children of the Most High God! It is time to focus on who He is and not sink into the pit of despair! Once we can turn a smidgen of thought to Him, scriptures seem to bubble up from where they have been hidden confirming the truth about this King of Israel! He is a God who fulfills His purposes (Psalm 57:2), a God who saves (Psalm 57:3), a God known for faithfulness and steadfast love (Psalm 57:2, 10). A God who loves you!

By reminding our true self of the source of our connection, praising the One who will be true to His promises and who is the lifter of our heads, then our hearts turn the murmuring into a whimper and then slowly into a melody and finally all-out praises to the King and healing begins it’s surgery in our hearts!

Darkness, where blackness seems to consume one’s very soul can….and will… destroy and snuff out the true self that lies within. Doing nothing….resigning….giving up…assures that. But that isn’t the only outcome on the table!  That dark and gloomy storm in your life will also trigger within you a desire to survive. A need to grasp onto that lone life-line that swings in the distance.  That storm will push you to your limits and when all seems darkest something deep within you stirs. What is that wrestling in the depths of your being? That persistent stirring is your true self striving to rise above those deadly feelings, those defeatist reactions, those out-of-control emotions and see with clear vision the LIGHT at the end of the tunnel. That LIGHT emanates from the Source of all Life and once acknowledged, gingerly takes your outstretched hand and draws you into His bosom.

Dear beloved friends and family, storms and trials are definitely not the picnic you would like an invitation to, but sometimes we are summoned and must take our seat. Remember, however, that party will not last forever and if we believe that to be true, then – and only then – can we look around the darkened room and sense the purpose of the season and see it for what it really is! That darkened room is simply a training ground of sorts, a time-out of sorts. It’s a place where you learn to choose life or death, curse or blessing. Either sink into the mire or rise above the muck and hard as it might be, praise Him no matter what!

By allowing our true self to focus on His promises, by lifting our voices up in praise and thanksgiving, our purpose and our destiny crystallize and our hearts are renewed! When we are able to embrace that each and every time ‘something happens’ … then, then we can see PURPOSE!

So join all of us and let’s sing together ….once we were lost……now we are FOUND!

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Joy cometh in the morning

Posted by on Sep 24, 2018 in All Posts, Journey thru Garden, Sukkot | 0 comments

The Season of our Joy …. is upon us! Now…where did I put that flask of ‘joy’? Come out, come out wherever you are!!!!!! Ahhhhh…..there you are….hiding underneath the baggage of bitterness, frustration, and self-pity.

Bringing out that tiny little flask I wonder….how could such a minute little bag of joy fill this empty old tired body….seems impossible for sure.

So, gingerly pulling apart the frayed strings of that little flask – OUT POURS JOY!!!! And she reminds me, quite pointedly, how much I have to be thankful for….good health for myself, my husband’s ability to get help for his health issues, all the wonderful health and happiness my 8 grand daughters are blessed with, two beautiful and godly women as daughters-in-law, wonderful happy parents who love life, siblings that love me and all have beautiful and sweet children and grandchildren, the ability to know the scriptures and follow His footsteps…….oh my….

JOY spilleth over and covers my wounds ….. HALLELUYAH!

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Your Journey Matters

Posted by on Sep 22, 2018 in All Posts, Journey thru Garden, Sabbath Musings | 0 comments

Your Journey Matters

Everything you do in life matters….even the mundane. Maybe, the mundane is even more important!  Here is the last daily word of Rabbi Jacobson, an orthodox Rabbi that truly touched my heart this morning. Perhaps we could learn more about how to live life in a godly way from those who have kept the oracles of the great One far longer than we have known about them.


Once upon a time, the Baal Shem Tov sent a group of his students on an important mission to help a needy couple in another town.  When they returned, he was not so interested in hearing about their mission as about the minutiae of their trip—what they ate, where the slept, how they traveled, etc.

They didn’t understand the relevance of these details, but he insisted on hearing everything. When they related that one morning they sat down near a brook and drank some water there, his face lit up and he said, “That water was waiting from the beginning of time for someone to come and make a blessing over it and drink it.”

In Jewish mystical thought, space, time, and matter are understood to be forces of Divine energy—sparks which fell down to earth at the time of creation and which became embedded in all aspects of existence; these sparks must be elevated in holiness for the world to achieve perfection as per the Divine plan. This is why the little things you do in life are sometimes more important than the big things—the journey is sometimes as or more important than the final destination.

When you go to work tomorrow, take a moment to appreciate how you got there.  Every second of your trip matters—the people you meet on the way, the cup of coffee you drink while waiting for the bus, the piece of paper you throw in the trashcan—all are changed by your actions.

Quite often the things that are seemingly beyond your control are really opportunities to elevate sparks of Divine energy trapped in the mundane, and by doing so, to spiritualize the material—to bring infinite to the finite.

It’s a deeper way of looking at the world. And when you begin looking at life this way, a whole new world will be revealed to you—a Godly world, an immortal world, the real world.

“60 Day Journey” Rabbi Jacobson ~ Meaningful Life  

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Roller Coaster Rides…

Posted by on Sep 22, 2018 in All Posts, Family Affair, Journey thru Garden | 0 comments

Is that what Life is just all about? One roller coaster ride after another?

It sure seems like it; now I know why I’ve never liked roller coasters!

In order for it to be called a roller coaster ride, it has to be up and down, round and round – there are no straight paths, it’s all curves. Curves and dips that make your stomach drop right out and your screams of distress just seem to ride the wind with no response at hand. I hate roller coaster rides!

While my entire married life has been a roller coaster ride, one with all the usual kiddie rides in the beginning of just being married, this last one……well, it is the mother of all rides. Sometimes, it feels like the next curve will be the last one where I’ll be able to hang on to the side of the car – I just know that I’ll be flung out to infinity. But still I hang on for dear life and pray fervently that the end will come soon. I need to get off and steady my legs and soothe my raging spirit.

Coming home from the hospital this week, with my husband who is fighting against time, waiting for both liver and kidney transplant due to what they call a non-alcoholic fatty liver, and dreading the anticipation of marking the first year of my youngest son, Jason Scott, being gone tomorrow, life seems – well, awfully empty. This body is getting worn out as well. Tomorrow looms in front of me …. I try pushing it away, turning my face from what I know will be storm clouds with a deluge of tears….and yet, there is no way to avoid it. It must be done….it must be walked through. No way out. It will be a closing of sorts, a year of mourning and heartache; hopefully eased out by memories that bring warmth and smiles.

Ironic how ‘that‘ day … will be the eve of the beginning of the Feast of Tabernacles ~ Sukkot. A time given by the Creator of the Universe for celebrating the gathering of His people for rejoicing and feasting. A time He will tabernacle with His people. How ironic.

Wait, what is that sound ….

In the background my husband has a song he just turned up …… meltdown….‘Even If’ … by Mercy Me … now we’re both crying in separate rooms…I can hear his sobs…my body shakes uncontrollably, and my dog comes and lays her head on my lap and moans. How much more Abba? How much more!?

People call me strong….wise…a woman of valor. If only those attributes were felt … all I feel is lonely, tired, weak and blown by the winds. Another song drifts through the room……‘He’s a chain breaker’….

Ok, enough is enough, stand up, be strong, you are a daughter of the King!

Pulling out my book….reinforcements are being called out to lift up my spirit from the spiraling pit of despair. Deep, way down, His words well up inside….He has never left…my wails of grief just tune him out….but only for a moment. He is my only strength, my only hope, my only guidepost ~ otherwise – there is only the great abyss that is waiting and nothing more.

Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

2 Corinthians 9:8 – And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

Psalm 34:17 – When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.

Deuteronomy 31:6 – Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.

Isaiah 41:10 – Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 55:22 – Cast your burden upon the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never allow the righteous to be shaken.

There are many going through very difficult trials right now, their cries reach my desk every day. We are all receiving fiery darts every minute of the day. We all feel as if we will be swept up and must hang on by our fingernails in that roller coaster ride. And many are so tired they can not lift the shield they grasp in their hand or reach for the brake that is within their reach. That’s why we need each other, when your limping and can go no further, I’ll be there to help you ~ when I am, please reach out your hand to steady my trembling body.

“May the Holy One of Israel hear our cries, take notice of His children who need His attentive ear and take action! May the coming season offer consolation, refreshing and renewing of our resolve and our spirit! With Him at my side, He will make the path straight!”




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Transition to Joy

Posted by on Sep 20, 2018 in All Posts, Feast Days, Yom Kippur | 3 comments


The experience of reflection and introspection yesterday on the holiest day of the year, Yom Kippurim (Day of AT ONE MENT), was an over the top time with our King. For me, personally, it was a simple yet profound period of time simply by myself. Pondering on the events of the day, the awe that was felt throughout the time period was as if time truly stood still – just as the sages claim.

praisingIn the evening of Yom Kippur and after finishing the traditional readings of Al Chetor the confession of sins, I pondered and looked for insight and understanding to where I had failed and where I could have added life to the situation. 

Then on the day of Yom Kippur I sat on the front porch and pondered so many things….so very many things. It was a very precious time and melancholy time.  The King has given me another year to restore and reconcile the Kingdom.

My hope and prayer is that your experience, whether together or alone you felt that element of closeness, of love and integration into the body of the King. I pray and hope that each soul experienced a unique time of returning to their Creator, their Father, their King as well as igniting a brighter spark in their hearts for all their earthly relationships. Time is short for each of us, beloved. Don’t waste another moment!

Yesterday, we came into the palace of our King …. and passed His judgment! As we continue during these next few days to celebrate the emerging joy from deep within, as we begin to realize the depth of what we have gone through and begin to anticipate the eight days of joy known as Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles), let us ask ourselves:

Are you ready to begin celebrating? Did your experience during the Holiest Day of the year bring you to the feet of the King on His throne? Were you able to lift your gaze as he tucked His mighty hand underneath your chin and smiled lovingly into your eyes?

If your answer to the above questions was a tear in your eye and a smile on your lips and a warmth in your heart, then get ready to celebrate! If not, search your heart and know that your AT ONE MENT is still at hand….simply return, walk in His ways and go forward in JOY!



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Yom Kippur… At-One-Ment

Posted by on Sep 19, 2018 in All Posts, All Things Biblical, Journey thru Garden, Yom Kippur | 0 comments

Yes…today is the day of being AT ONE with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords… this is the day when heaven meets earth…the spark touches the source and your essence is one with the Flame.

Are you asking why?

Simply put, it is because the Holy One Himself told us to….no other reason than that.

But I’m not a Jew! I’m not religious like that! Seriously, lady you don’t know what you’re talking about!

Neither am I, nor am I religious and it’s not me talking….it’s the Great I AM.

Leviticus 16:29 mandates establishment of this holy day on the 10th day of the 7th month as the day of atonement for sins. It calls it the Sabbath of Sabbaths and a day upon which one must afflict one’s soul.

Leviticus 23:27 decrees that Yom Kippur is a strict day of rest.

So if you believe in scripture – all of it – then He is speaking to you – because you are part of Israel “For if you belong to Messiah, you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise” (Gal. 3:29).  You become the Commonwealth of Israel thru Yeshua according to Ephesians 2:11…

 11 Therefore remember that formerly you, the Gentiles in the flesh, who are called “Uncircumcision” by the so-called “Circumcision,” which is performed in the flesh by human hands— 12 remember that you were at that time separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. 13 But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 14 For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall

Is that not amazing!!!?? Challenge yourself to look into the scriptures a bit deeper … go beyond your safe box, your doctrine and man-made traditions, and hear what the Most High God has to say to … you.

Today is the day! Be AT ONE with your King!



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Are you ready for Yom Kippur?

Posted by on Sep 18, 2018 in All Posts, Days of Awe, Elul, Feast Days, Resources, Yom Kippur | 1 comment

Are you ready for Yom Kippur?

Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.

Are you ready? If you are asking “ready for what?” than let me explain.

The Day of Atonement is the holiest day of the year for all of Judaism and is one of the Feast Days of the LORD listed in Leviticus 23. Read that last part again, one of the FEAST DAYS OF THE LORD.

Yes, that’s right the Holy One Himself, (no matter what you call him – Yahovah, Yahweh, God) designed this day as one of HIS feast days and commanded all those that followed Him to honor them for eternity. Well, that about says it all – and that is what spearheaded my search for truth and eventually led me to give up my generations of ‘churchianity’ and caused me to seek out the footprints of the Messiah and walk how he walked. When I read that it was to be kept for all eternity and for all our generations, well, someone tell me when eternity ended! So until that day, I’ll continue to honor and obey the King of Kings and serve Him as He desires.

So here we are, the sixth feast day is fast approaching and it’s not too late for you to join in withholyofholies all of Israel as they prepare their hearts to recognize the King as the books of life and death are sealed. One day, in the future, this scenario will play out in real life. The nations of the earth will finally be judged, each person will be judged and it will be in real time. So I ask you again, are you ready?

When you read the Torah you can see that this is the only time during the entire year that the High Priest could enter the Holy of Holies. He did so to offer a blood sacrifice for the sins of all Israel. Understanding this sacrifice, or the ‘life for life’ principle is necessary to understand  that the High Priest is the only one that can make intercession on behalf of the people. And our Messiah, Yeshua (Jesus) did this once and for all – he gave his all for each of us.

According to the sages, man was created for the sake of teshuvah (תְּשׁוּבָה). The Day of “at-one-ment,”  begins at nightfall on Tishri 9 and continues 25 hours through the next day until nightfall. This day is marked as a solemn day and the traditions are of complete fasting, a day of prayer and going to synagogue. This is the day when we draw the closest to God – denying the pleasures of this world – so that we can reach a deeper level within ourselves in order to hear that still small voice within. It is not a typical ‘fast’.

When Moses first ascended Mount Sinai to receive the Torah (Pentecost – or in Hebrew Shavuot) it was seven weeks after the Exodus (which was exactly 49 days!) and the Hebrew date was Sivan 6. Then, 40 days later on the 17th of Tammuz he came back down to witness the golden calf incident and the tablets were violently smashed. And what did the shepherd of all shepherds do after that? Did he give up, walk away or rant and rave? No…he did not. He interceded for all of Israel for another forty days! He spent from Elul 1 to Yom moses_israel_camp_sinaiKippur (Tishri 10), another 40 days, pleading with Yahovah to spare all of them. Not only did the Holy One forgive all of Israel, He also revealed His name to Moshe (Exodus 34:4-8) and as Moshe returned to the camp, his face shone with the radiance of the shekinah itself! We too can experience this type of closeness with our Creator. Those last forty days that Moshe spent on the Sinai pleading for all Israel is the same time period we have just come through – and we are about to enter that last day.

If you are not currently celebrating the Feast Days of the LORD, prayerfully consider if you should. In my own journey, it began with the Sabbath. How can one just simply ignore one of the top commandments in the 10 we say we follow? It just wouldn’t leave my mind and my heart was drawn to find out if it was something that I should be doing. Well, 30 years later, I know it was the right thing to do, and I am still practicing and learning how He wants to be pleased. Man’s traditions and doctrines have given way to be able to walk in the footsteps of the Messiah. My King set these days in place in the beginning as a blueprint of what was and what will be and they will endure until He returns. Until then, I’ll keep practicing and rehearsing.


May you also experience the heights of a Mt. Sinai revelation!

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Elul – Day 39

Posted by on Sep 18, 2018 in All Posts, Days of Awe, Elul | 0 comments

remember, this is from Orthodoxy….allow the Ruach haKodesh to sift through the words, and speak to your heart…

Tishrei 9, Erev Yom Kippur


Tonight we will begin a 25-hour fast of Yom Kippur.  We don’t do this in order to afflict ourselves, which is the purpose of the fast of Tisha B’Av when we mourn the destruction of the Temple—indeed Yom Kippur is not a day of mourning but a day of joy. We fast on Yom Kippur because on this day we want to transcend our physical limitations and be like angels, and food and other physical concerns distract us from our spiritual selves.

Some people may complain that the hunger distracts them from concentrating on the prayers and rituals of the day.  But this is precisely the Yom Kippur challenge—not to be overly focused on the physical.

Use the opportunity of not eating and not drinking to allow yourself to experience the food and drink that comes from deep within. Fasting will then become a very freeing experience.

Yom Kippur is one day in the year when you can access the deepest part of your soul. But this is only possible if you create the space for it. Your soul—every soul—has a still, soft voice that emits a unique hum. This sound can only be heard if you lower the noise in your life that usually drowns out your inner voice.

On Yom Kippur, when the “source” is nearest to the “spark” of your soul, you want to remove as many material distractions as you can, so that your soul can sing freely and your “spark” can dance.

When you experience Yom Kippur this way—which does take effort, and that’s why you need to prepare for it—then it will be for you not a day when you feel hungry, but a day when you feel angelic.

The same holds true for the other prohibitions of Yom Kippur—against bathing, anointing, marital relations, wearing leather, etc.—all of which are meant to detach us as much as possible from the physical realm so that we can be free to experienced the spiritual one.

Instead of indulging in physical pleasures, we spend the day in the cocoon of a synagogue where we are cut off from the outside world. We spend the day in prayer—our whole intention being to transcend the physical world, our material home, and to travel inward toward our purest spiritual selves—toward our true home in G-d.


Before darkness falls, marking the official beginning of the 10th day of Tishrei which is Yom Kippur, in every synagogue in the world a haunting melody is sang—Kol Nidrei.

Kol Nidrei means “All Vows” and its classic text, repeated three times, each time louder, is a renunciation of all oaths and vows.

It seems strange to begin the holiest day of the yea—the day which we spend asking G-d to forgive us for all transgressions—by breaking former promises.

But Kol Nidrei is not that. Kol Nidrei is the process through which we enter the holiest day of the year.

A neder is not just the vow/promise that you vocalize to another person, it is a word that denotes all commitments, attachments, and ties that bind you.

By renouncing “all vows” you are declaring your commitment to break the bonds that keep you from traveling on the journey within, that keep you from opening yourself to the Yom Kippur experience.

Obviously, this does not mean forsaking healthy commitments and responsibilities—it means forsaking those attachments that limit you, that entangle and entrap you.

That is the essential focus of Kol Nidrei. It is a perfect prayer to begin Yom Kippur with because unless you free yourself from such traps you cannot travel inward; with a ball and chain attached to you, you are not going to be able to get anywhere.

Kol Nidrei is repeated three times to relate to vows in speech, vows in deed, and vows in thought:

All vows and things we have made forbidden on ourselves… we regret having made them, may they all be permitted, forgiven, eradicated, and nullified, and may they not be valid or exist any longer.  Our vows shall no longer be vows, and our prohibitions shall no longer be prohibited, and our oaths are no longer oaths.

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Days of Awe – Day 10

Posted by on Sep 18, 2018 in All Posts, All Things Biblical, Days of Awe, Yom Kippur | 0 comments

It is that time. It is the 10th day of the Seventh Month of the Biblical Calendar. It is our APPOINTED TIME. This is THAT DAY.

This is the day time and eternity, darkness and light, hope and despair, good and evil, life and death, all take their turns wrestling with each other over our souls.

Today we taste of death. Today we are called upon to appear before, give an account to, and receive a decree from our Creator.

We are poured out like water, and all our bones are out of joint;
Our hearts are like wax; they have melted within us.
Our strength is dried up like a potsherd,
and our tongues cling to our jaws;
You have brought us to the dust of death.

On this 10th and climactic Day of Awe, called Yom Ha-Kippurim [i.e. the Day of the Coverings], we relive, in our own flesh, the experience of Adam in the Garden, when he was called upon – with the scent of the juice of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil still on his breath – to respond to the Creator’s piercing inquiry of ‘Ayeicha?’ [‘Where are You?’].

On this day, if we do not cave in to fear, we strengthen ourselves in the inner man by reconnecting with the tenth prophetic life-empowerment our Beloved Creator gave us on Mount Sinai.
This empowerment begins:

לֹא תַחְמֹד בֵּית רֵעֶךָ לֹֽא־תַחְמֹד אֵשֶׁת רֵעֶךָ
transliteration: lo tachmod beit re’echa lo tachmod esheh re’echa
approximate translation: you will not desire or take delight in your neighbor’s house; you will not desire or take delight in your neighbor’s wife. . .

The scope of the lo tachmod empowerment does not stop with houses and women. It goes on to include everything else in this world which we might see in the possession of someone else and want for ourselves. Indeed, it covers all of the things of this world.

Wherever a man’s treasure is, there lies his heart. Wherever a man’s delight is, there lies his passion. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

The lo tachmod empowerment reaches the deepest parts of man’s soul. This empowerment does not focus upon his behavior or even his speech. It does not even stop with the realm of a man’s conscious deliberation. It goes deeper still. It invades the deepest, hidden realms of man’s subconscious thought life. It penetrates to the core. It reaches into the hidden folds of the mind, the secret chambers of the heart, and the mystic recesses of the will. It touches us at the most vulnerable pressure points of desire, delight, appetite, urge, impulse, inclination, and dream. It exposes us our our most sensitive flesh-protected places of motivation, attitude, opinion, and craving.

This life-changing empowerment is the essential key to denying self. It is the open door to dying to the flesh.

It is the Creator’s way of prophetically empowering us to take captive every thought and make it obedient to our purpose, our destiny, and our mission.

It is the primary medium given for us to connect our lives with first the crucifixion, then the resurrection, of Messiah.

It is how our Creator empowers us to overcome the world.

And now you understand, Dear One, why we have to die today. We have to die today because we have a much more meaningful life to live on the other side of the death to self that we – and the world – so desperately need at such a time as this.

Excuse me now – my name is being called. See you on the other side!



Much thanks to my friend Bill Bullock who writes under the title of “Rabbi’s Son” … as the Rabbi’s daughter myself …. these messages have found their way into my heart, into my soul…into the depths of who I want to be…….thank you Father for inspiring him and for his obedience!

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