Posted on Sep 26, 2017 | 17 comments

Today is day 3 of my son, Jason, passing out of this life …. the pain is unbearable – but it helps me to put words on paper – I pray that this does not offend anyone by doing so. It is simply my outlet for grief …

This is the Hebrew month of Tishrei – day 6. Jason celebrated the Feast Days of the Lord and was a very deeply spiritual person – not like your everyday church going person – but a very special deep, soul. An inquiring, sensitive, probing soul. We were going thru the days together as we approach the Feast day of Sukkot – or some call it Tabernacles. Sukkot is a time when we celebrate for 7 days the provision that Yahweh gave us as He saved His people out of Egypt (sin) and provided for them. It is a joyous festival. During the time that leads up to this joyous time, days of reflection and introspection take place. Jay and I shared often about some of the trials we have gone through and how life is so unfair sometimes, but we still trusted in the Lord and His promises. As I was thinking of that, I pondered on a few things and I want to share on paper 2 things.
The day Jason died, the reading from a book I have read over the last many years by Rabbi Jacobson, 60 days “A spiritual guide to the High Holidays” was for Tishrei 4 (Sunday) it was titled “RETURNING TO PURE ESSENCE”. Part of it reads: During these special days, we should be working to return to the quintessential self that we really are. Teshuvah (which literally means ‘return’) implies that there is a part of us that is always healthy and good and pure, as we say in the morning prayer, “The soul that You gave me is pure” And no matter what damage had been done to us in life – to our sense of self, to our personal dignity – no matter what damage we ourselves have done, we can always return to the soul that remains undamaged, intact, pure.
Jason…….began his ‘return’ to his pure self, his undamaged, his intact, his pure self. What a mighty picture that is for me as his mother. I envision him smiling, blue eyes dancing, smiling from ear to ear and with so much peace….and calmness….and love. Overflowing, overpowering love. A true shalom.
There is a Jewish tradition, told to me by my dear friend, that the soul who departs ‘hovers’ in this realm for 3 days and then moves on to the next plane. Today is Tishrei 6 – the 3rd day he has passed. In this book, the title for this reading is “APPROACHING THE SOURCE”….. I do not believe in coincidences. It reads in part – “We have now reached the midpoint of the Ten Days of Teshuvah. This is the period, say the sages of the Talmud of which the Prophet Isaiah (55:6) speaks when he proclaims “Seek God when He is to be found, call on Him when He is near.” But isn’t God omnipresent at all times and all places in the world? How could we say that now He is closer to us? However, Isaiah is not speaking from God’s perspective but from the soul’s perspective. Chassidic teachings explain that this special time of the year is compared to the “source drawing near to the spark.” The “source” is God, the “spark” is each of our souls, which is called “the flame of God”…….The Ten days of Teshuvah (repentance/return) represent a type of “coming home” experience.  when the source gets closer to the spark, the spark begins to feel the warmth and it is drawn toward the larger, mother flame. It’s like when you put your hand closer to a flame you start feeling the warmth.
Is that not the most amazing, time perfect readings for this time we are going through? It is what my oldest son, Jim, would call a GOD WINK. That makes me smile. Jason….on the first day he left us returned to his true self, and now, on his  third day … is now moving closer to the SOURCE ….
whatever you may think…this gives me comfort……
Spread the truth!


  1. 9-26-2017

    Wow. Baruch dayan emet. May His comforting Spirit be with you and your family.

  2. 9-26-2017

    Pam,Jim&Cheryl,and all…I am thankful for the rich love and support that you are drawing from both the love of our Mishpocha and the written prayers, teachings, and comments these days of awe…i prayAbba is surrounding you, and your whole family, with His Shalom and comfort in the face of such sorrow.
    He isThere…not in the,storm,quake,or fire..
    But in the still,small voice of the Ruach…gentle breeze that blows, breathing for us…when we do not know if we can do it without Help. He is our help.
    Loving you…Praying for you…we know.

  3. 9-26-2017

    thank you for sharing i am so sorry for your loss..And so great for the Lords comfort in this time..

  4. 9-26-2017

    Oh, Pam,

    Beautifully expressed. We hope Jason is dancing in Yah’s presence at this moment. May Yahweh grant you peace that passes all understanding. While we did not have the pleasure of knowing Jason, we grieve with you in your loss and hold you all in our prayers.

  5. 9-26-2017

    Beautiful Pam. Thank you for explaining the Jewish perspective more fully. I have heard similar stories at synagogue but your writing made it much clearer. May Abba continue to lift you up and wink at you 😉 Much love, hugs and shalom.

  6. 9-26-2017

    Amen and again I say Amen

  7. 9-26-2017

    HalleluYAH… Amen Pam. It is such a blessing to read your heart here. Shalom, dear Sister,Shalom.

  8. 9-27-2017

    Thank You for sharing. May Yehovah Bless You, Comfort & Wrap his ever loving arms around you.

  9. 9-27-2017

    Oh Yaweh bless her soul……………………….

  10. 9-27-2017

    That is absolutely beautiful, momma!!… Be blessed, just as you are a blessing to all of us. SHALOM

  11. 9-27-2017

    Thank you for sharing your heart. Great message.

  12. 9-29-2017

    such a blessing you have given us, thank you.
    Please share when it helps you.
    love Don and Sandy

    • 10-1-2017

      Thank you Sandy … it does help.

  13. 9-29-2017

    Dearest Beloved ,
    With Our deepest heartfelt sympathy , May El Shaddai in this hour give you and your family rest , comfort in knowing your Beloved Son is in the palms of Gods loving hands as He is rejoicing us on heaven wards. May this video give your heart Shalom peace and love as Yeshua gives you comfort in your hour of need . Bless u Daughter of the King & Family . Shabbat Shalom Love & Prayers , Rose & Charles Britton Family

    • 10-1-2017

      Dear Rose….the shalom that washed over me as I listened to the video….were very healing thank you for sharing and caring!

  14. 10-1-2017

    Oh my Bonnie, thank you so much …. I thought today might be a bit better …. it is not …. but I thank you so much for those words – they go right to my broken heart and soften the tears.

  15. 10-1-2017

    We are deeply sorry for your loss Pam. We cannot imagine the grief you must be feeling, but we know that you don’t grieve like those with no hope. Jason was a true believer and Yahweh called him home. We are praying for you!

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