Posted on Aug 24, 2018 | 0 comments

Many of you may know what that means…and have had to rearrange your lives to adjust to a different lifestyle due to circumstances or new situations. So it is for us as well.

Our lives have drastically changed in the last couple of years and this new normal is nothing either of us would have chosen, but … as my son Jay would have said if he were here … ‘it is what it is, mom’. Losing that boy almost a year ago now – September 24 – still throws my heart into a tailspin and I suspect it always will. They say time heals all wounds. Not true. The scar gets ripped off just about every day. However, when that happens….I dab a bit of ‘resolve‘ on it and purposely focus on the blessings he brought us, not on that one last day. Sometimes it’s just not that easy, but at least I am remembering to refocus most of the time.

My husband, Jim, was diagnosed with non-alcoholic fatty liver. In fact, we said goodbye to our youngest son for the last time on this side of time and drove straight to the hospital. Jim made it through the funeral and the burial for our youngest….but could go no further as the pain was so intense. He never let on. That’s just the way he is. At the hospital – well, needless to say we were in such a state of shock already that ‘this’ news didn’t hit home for several weeks.

Our new normal is now ‘waiting‘ … waiting for a call from SLU hospital (one of the top rated hospitals in the country) for a liver/kidney transplant. That too will be bittersweet because for him to live, another soul has to leave. It is a difficult situation all the way around. But we are learning how to count the blessings we have in this new normal.

We have been to the ER several times during this past year and as I type this, we are again in the ER. Sometimes the medications don’t jive with each other (and he takes an awful lot of meds!) and sometimes his ammonia levels rise too high and the toxicity in his body brings him to collapse. One particular medicine that he must take several times a day is the nastiest tasting stuff this side of dung and he hates it more each time he swallows it. However, without it he will end up in the hospital because the ammonia levels rise and shut off his central nervous system. All of the above on top of having to undergo a ‘tap‘ (parenthesis) to reduce the fluid in his body every week!  The most they have taken off at one time was almost 10 liters…think a liter of Pepsi floating around inside you! Yeah….insane.

However….this is not a time to throw in the towel (although sometimes I’m ready to pitch it)… nor is this is not a time to lay down and not get up, nor even is this a time to stay in the pity party swamp and cry my eyes out. No, it is a time to STAND UP and be COUNTED, no matter how difficult it is or weak in the knees it feels.  His word gives us strength!

Especially this month! This is the month of Elul (sign up for our Journey thru Elul!) and one of the prayers we say each day is Psalm 27….. let it give you strength as well – no matter what situation you are faced with.

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