Posted on Apr 2, 2021 | 2 comments

Welcome back….

and hope you took a few minutes to take note of your own ‘timeline’. Were you able to think of some potholes that might have tripped you up in the past? I know I sure did! Oh my, I didn’t realize how many potholes were in this winding, up and down highway … and it caused me to step back and ponder a bit. AND….as I stepped back to view that scene a little better, my vision shifted ~ mountaintops slowly overpowered the scene. How beautiful! Glorious, majestic mountaintops where once I stood so joyous on their peaks!

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.”  Isaiah 52:7

As we travel this road back in time together, let’s remember to keep a balance….everything we encounter along the highway of life contributed to the person we are today. So, let’s get started….honesty moment…

The last two days have been extremely difficult for me as I try to wean myself off of the dreaded, life-draining prednisone that the white coats insist is my only option. Unfortunately, while I admire the advances in medicine that have been made and acknowledge the life-saving measures that have come forth through the years, sometimes one wonders if there is anything else other than antibiotics and prednisone in that little black bag of theirs. Do they even carry that little black bag anymore? It is more than a little disappointing that the ‘whole‘ person isn’t treated and the focus is only on one particular symptom….all while trying to explain everything in the allotted 15 minutes given to each patient. Sigh….. it’s a difficult road trying to retrain the body to heal itself! But I’m determined to do so ~ and to find the whole person within and heal her too.

Ok, back to the highway timeline. Late into the night, staring at the ceiling as sleep evaded me, I searched back into time and tried to spend a few minutes looking deep into those smaller potholes that led to my roadblock of today. It actually was quite medicinal and satisfying to step outside the proverbial box and look down (or up) as I was able to float around those situations, those circumstances, and see it for what it really was. A step. Just a step forward. That first major encounter of the leaving of my ancestral past in the late 70’s was a catapult. That first step enabled me to take the next step, and the next and then the next. Maybe this pothole is just a bit bigger than I had first imagined.

Sensing the entire range of emotions that ‘leaving‘ elicited, the heartache, the rejection, the excitement and the apprehension, it dawned on me (literally) that those were all excellent God-given feelings! Each and every one of those emotions – even the anger and the frustrationall were given by my Creator. What was needed was to find the balance and the deeper meaning of life in each experience. What is needed is to sort out those feelings, the reasons they were experienced and most of all – how I handled each. I must admit….some of those situations were not handled in the best of ways. Chalk it up to inexperience, youth or whatever, life is a learning experience, and sometimes we need to re-evaluate the how’s and why’s.

One of the things I realized, was that because I felt all those feelings above during my leaving pothole experience, I compensated with having a need for more ‘knowledge‘. Why? Because having more knowledge would arm me for those nasty little daggers thrown by loved ones and friends through glaring stairs and vociferous rebuttals concerning my decision. And believe me, I armed myself very, very well. I had a boatload of flaming arrows of ‘truth‘ to throw at them. My new found ‘knowledge‘ was my armor to protect me. But, sometimes, armor rusts, arrows break, and shields get to heavy to hold up.

So, now I can rewind that reel and press the go button from a different point of view. That young girl that eventually left her well known, comfortable and easy setting of churchianity, actually was also a strong, adventurous soul that yearned for more than just the average Sunday church experience. She carried on her shoulders the weight of all those that went before her – and the ones that would follow. Her direction in those early years would forever influence not only her own two children, but many, many others in the years to come, not to mention her large extended family. That search for truth, well, became a passion! And as with all passions, most need to be tempered with age and a bit of wisdom – the wisdom that comes from age.

Well, I can see that this is becoming more than just a journey for health….it is a revelation of my own personal history. However, one could say that our personal history is the thermometer of our personal health.

Now it’s time for you to ponder a few minutes and rewind that first pothole of your own…allow all those feelings to spring forth from your waterfall of memories and step back and view them from your new-found perspective! Turn it over and over in your mind’s eye … what do you see, what do you feel, what did it change in your life?

So much more I wanted to share….but there’s always room for tomorrow 🙂

Blessings & Peace

~Pam~

 

2 Comments

  1. 4-3-2021

    You are so right in saying what a pity it is that the whole person is not treated. We are allowed to present one symptom at a time, and the fact that several parts may well be affected is ignored.
    How fortunate that our dear Lord does not treat us in this way.

    • 4-3-2021

      So true VAl! In the ancient times (and I’m talking as little as 50-75 years ago!) the body/person was treated as a WHOLE, not disembodied parts! I have learned that we are our own best advocate and we must be diligent when seeking medical help. In this day and age, it is up to >US< individually to seek out, research and insist on treatments that will truly heal us, not just maintain the status quo. In my younger days, the medical field (and the religious leadership) were nigh to gods…now…..not so much 🙂

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