Time goes on…
For anyone that has lived more than a few years….you get it. Time simply does not stand still – for anyone. And as time marches on, life changes, in so many ways. Valley’s and mountaintops, mud puddles and sinking pits, glorious campfires and devastating firestorms. All of these intermixed in what we call the journey of life.
Now that it has been five years since Jim has continued his journey on the other side of time, and I am, for the first time in my life, living by myself (strange feeling it is), I truly realize how fast time flies. It seems as if only yesterday when I was chasing him down the hall of our grade school hoping he would notice me. After chasing him for several years, he caught me!
In June of 1970, I graduated high school and in July we married and our journey together began. Yes, we experienced all those valleys and mountaintops – but we made it almost 50 years! That journey was amazing..and when I glance back, I can ‘see‘ the monumental twists and turns we took.
The most monumental event, of course, was the birth of our two sons, Jim, III and Jason Scott. As the boys grew, so did we. Our understanding in all things that we took for granted, was transformed. Many things transpired – from leaving our traditional church, to celebrating the Feast Days of the LORD in Leviticus 23; from visiting Israel almost every year during the 1990’s, to hosting events for speakers who loved Israel; from birthing a ministry called Mesharet (now In Ancient Footsteps) to helping our son birth his own ministry called Passion for Truth.
Jim and I visited many countries – from Israel to Costa Rica, from Hawaii/Maui to Mexico – all were full of memorable events, many life-changing. As our two boys grew to adulthood and found their soulmates, our family grew … and we were the proud grandparents of eight grand daughters. Their wives became our ‘daughters‘ – Cheryl and Nicci.
Jim was always, as my dil Cheryl would say, a ‘servant’. And he truly was. He would be the silent partner, the support pillar, the negotiator, the discerning guidepost in our relationship. Not that he was perfect – far from it. Those first 15 years were very difficult – but through the Lord’s help, we managed to go forward every single time. He became my rock….he became everyone’s rock. You could depend on him and he was selfless, caring and absolutely loved his children and grandchildren unconditionally.
I miss him. He said I would….
So….I find myself trying to fill the void – every single day. Focusing on the good memories, the trips we took, the challenges we overcame – helps. Realizing that we truly did make a difference in many people’s lives – is a balm to my heart. Seeing my oldest son continue our passion of sharing the gospel in truth and spirit – is a balm to my heart. Watching our eight grandchildren grow up as godly young women – is a balm to my heart. Holding my two beautiful great-grandchildren – is a balm to my heart.
So…while the journey of life continues, and time marches on….I will continue to hold my husband, Jim, in my heart…..and as my youngest son, Jason (may his memory be blessed) would often tell me, “It is what it is mom, keep going forward”.……
So …. I will.